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Finding the Right Balance
-- By
Daniela Stumpf Bryan, Aptos
“What do you really want?” “If you could do
anything, what would you do?” “What is your vision?” “What
stops you from going forward?” These are some of the questions I ask my
clients to help them bridge the gap between where they are today and where they
want to be tomorrow. I am a Personal and Professional Coach. And I can honestly
say: I am the closest I have ever been to having my balance.
When I
attended the University of Southern California and joined Kappa (Delta Tau), my
ambitions were great. I was driven by the thought of an international career.
Working for an international company, traveling all over the world and meeting
people with different cultures was my ultimate goal. After getting married and
finishing graduate school, I started working for Kodak in Germany, where I
advanced quickly. After an assignment in New York, I fulfilled my dream when I
was asked to work in the European Headquarter in London. The job enabled me to
work closely with business leaders from all over Europe. I built on my people
skills and enhanced my knowledge of global marketing and international
management. It was a dream come true. Then I realized I was 30 years old and
continuing on this path would not allow time and energy for a family. The hours
were long, traveling extensive and time spent with my husband was reduced to a
bare minimum. My career was consuming me.
My husband, Ross, and I
decided to have children and I became a stay-at-home mom. My children, Susie
and Willy, now 8 and 6, became my focal point and I didn’t miss my high
powered job at all. I enjoyed seeing them grow and blossom. Nurturing and
encouraging them became my everyday life. In the process they have helped me
grow and I appreciate the beauties of life so much more. A gift only a mother
can truly appreciate. Now my children were consuming me.
Unforeseen
circumstances pushed my husband and I to separate with nobody at fault. It was
a growth experience for myself, painful at times, but invaluable overall,
resulting in the continuation of our friendship. I wanted to pass my experience
on to others and help them in finding the best path for themselves, and yet I
couldn’t see myself going back to a high-powered job in a corporate
setting.
It was time to do something. I started researching
jobs/careers and businesses that were an extension of my past work. Working for
Kodak, I particularly enjoyed the management training and communication aspects
of the job. In addition, peers had always asked me for career advise. All my
research lead me to the field of coaching.
Since then I have started my
own coaching practice. Most of my coaching is conducted by telephone from home
while the children are at school. In the afternoons I enjoy coaching my
children in their athletic and creative endeavors. Coaching is extremely
inspiring, because it helps people to see their path more clearly and it
motivates them to be who they really are. It gives them energy and hope,
self-confidence and a greater enjoyment of life. I enjoy making this world a
better place one person at a time. I am not consumed by my career or children
anymore, but rather I have found balance in my life.
In setting up my
home business, I found that clarity about the following issues helped to make
it work for me:
Priorities. What are your priorities and are you
focused on them? You can’t be everything to all people. Saying no to less
important things is absolutely essential.
Motivation. What
motivates you? What energizes you? What are your goals? Knowing what your goals
are helps in overcoming the guilt that wants you to clean up the kitchen or
doing laundry.
Space. Where are you working from? Is the space
set up efficiently? Do you enjoy spending time there? Are you able to
concentrate and focus on your work? It is important to have a separate space
that is both efficient and enjoyable.
Boundaries. Do your family
members know when and how you are working? Do you have certain hours set aside,
when you are 100% at work? Did you communicate those to family, friends,
employees, bosses and clients? Communication and setting limits of boundaries
is necessary.
Organization. Do you have a structure in place
that works for you? When we work for ourselves, we need to put a structure in
place that helps us getting tasks done. There is no employer to set up the
structure, so we have to do it ourselves.
Network. Do you have
people who can support you? Hire people who can support you on a temporary or
permanent basis. You don’t have to do it all yourself.
Support. Do you know others who are struggling with the same
issues? Knowing that others are struggling with similar issues and the ability
to brainstorm ideas is an invaluable exercise.
Family/Relationship
Time. Do you have time scheduled just for your family? Do you have
one-on-one time scheduled with your partner? It will give you the energy you
need to move forward.
Me Time. Are you taking time off from your
role as parent, business owner, entrepreneur, spouse and household manager?
Take time for yourself by getting a massage, going for a walk or doing pottery.
You’ll be more powerful and effective.
Copyright
©2002. "The Key" (a national publication for the Kappa Kappa Gamma
fraternity in Columbus, Ohio). Published in the Spring 2002
edition.
Daniela Bryan is a personal and professional coach. Her clients
include entrepreneurs, executives, corporate employees and people in
transition. She works best with highly motivated people who are ready to move
to a greater level of satisfaction in their lives. For more information,
contact Daniela via e-mail at db@dbcoach.com.
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